Politics: The U.S. Government Spent Over $3 Million On Boats For Landlocked Afghanistan?
boats in afganistan

07/08/12 - Hmmmm. Click here to read this bullshit.

-Brought to you by Robert Thorn.

Comedy: Big Boy And Dave

07/08/14 - I don't really trust reptiles. I'm not entirely sure they have emotions other than kill and eat.

-Brought to you by Robert Thorn.

Life: One Day Your Dog Will Die

06/30/12 - Go play with you dog, right now. No, seriously, right now.

-Brought to you by Robert Thorn.

Music: Cymbals Eat Guitars Premiere "Jackson"

cymbals eat guitars

06/30/14 - Buy Cymbals Eat Guitar's latest album.

More Info From The Publicist: “Wanna wake up wanting to listen to records / But those old feelings elude me / I raise a toast to the rock n' roll ghost,” sings Cymbals Eat Guitars frontman Joseph D’Agostino on the hyper-adrenalized “XR,” which sounds like a Tonight’s the Night outtake recorded at triple speed, with its braying harmonica and spitfire vocal delivery. It’s the track that perhaps best captures the spirit of the band’s third LP, LOSE, one of coping with abject loss and grief by rediscovering what you’ve always loved, as difficult as it may be—the redemptive power of music. For D’Agostino, this entailed coming to terms with his best friend and musical collaborator Benjamin High, who passed away suddenly seven years ago, just as Cymbals Eat Guitars began recording in earnest.

LOSE is a very apropos title because it refers not only to losing Ben, but also it's about a sort of nostalgia, a longing for a time when music meant everything to you and your friends, and it seemed like one great rock record could change everyone's life the way it changed yours,” says D’Agostino. “It's about being in mourning for your long-held belief that music could literally change the world. That's the contradiction at the heart of LOSE... You're disillusioned, but somehow you can do nothing else but rail against that feeling mightily and try, once again, to make a record that makes you and everyone else ‘wake up wanting to listen to records’.”

And indeed, the band, rounded out by bassist Matthew Whipple, keyboardist Brian Hamilton, and drummer Andrew Dole, alongside producer John Agnello, do little wallowing. This is a raucous affair, an Irish Wake, ultimately rooted in nothing less than a celebration of just being alive.

“Jackson” kicks off the album in prototypical Cymbals fashion—all allusions to suburban ennui, drugs, and geography, as D’Agostino reminisces, “We're riding through Jackson Pines / Towards Six Flags to wait in lines,” with an agoraphobic romantic companion whom he directly addresses, “You're taking two Klonopin / So you can quit flipping / And face our friends.” Yet, this is a leaner, more sinister Cymbals. The vocals are crisper, the drums more dynamic, the bass more melodic, all buttressed by a sensational see-saw guitar figure that blossoms into a lacerating yet anthemic rocker.

“I think this one is obviously more accessible than Why There Are Mountains or Lenses Alien,” says D’Agostino, referring to the band’s first two LPs, their debut having been awarded Pitchfork’s coveted Best New Music. “The first two had a lot more stop and start,” he continues. “This one has a ton of momentum. It's got fluidity and grace. I think I gave the lyrics more room to breathe, so you can kind of follow what's going on.”

The record also features some radical stylistic departures for the band. “We just got tired of playing mathy, ponderous songs every night,” laughs D’Agostino. This sea change is exemplified by the tranquil, gorgeous Velvets-esque ballad “Child Bride,” and the soulful slow-burn of “Laramie,” that finds D’Agostino crooning in a near Prince-esque falsetto, “I'll do the Kev and you can do the Charles,” slyly referencing band favorite The Wrens, before admitting with contrition, “We were both in need of rescue / So who saved whom?”

And that’s what’s perhaps most impressive about LOSE—the manner in which D’Agostino comes clean with his emotions, tackling seemingly ineffable mourning without equivocation. “There are no $5 words that you'll have to pull up dictionary.com for... some of the lyrics are directly confessional. Very open, no obfuscation,” he explains. “I lost my dear friend a while ago and I've sort of been addressing it in song for most of my career, though you probably couldn't really tell until now. It’s just a direct expression of grief. I figured if I confronted it head-on on record it'd make for some interesting music.”

But this is more than interesting—LOSE is a headlong rush of regret sublimated into a grand catharsis.

“These songs are a joy to play, and hopefully they will be a joy to listen to,” says D’Agostino. “I know I still get chills from every song on this record, so that has to mean something. You have to trust that feeling.”

-Brought to you by Robert Thorn.

Comedy: Honest Post-Game Interview

06/30/14 - Sports are retarded.

-Brought to you by Robert Thorn.

TV: NBC Casting Call In Portland, Maine

portland casting call

06/20/14 - Peacock Productions, a division of NBC News, is casting re-enactments for UNRAVELED, a true-crime documentary series airing on ID (Investigation Discovery).

They will be shooting Friday, June 27th, through Monday, June 30th, in Cape Elizabeth. Most actors will NOT be called for all days of shooting.

Rate is $100/day. They are seeking actors who are able to work as local (i.e. provide own housing and transportation) in the Portland area.

Please submit a headshot, resume, and a link to on-camera work (if available) to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it , with the role(s) you’d like to be considered for in the subject line.


[THAYNE] 20 year old man, white. Medium height, athletic build. Dirty blonde hair. Obsessed with becoming a Marine. Murders neighbor who he suspects of being a drug dealer.

[YOUNG THAYNE] 10 year old boy, white. Medium height, slender. Blonde hair. Neglected / verbally abused by mother. NOTE: the actor for this role will not be participating in or exposed to any scenes of a violent or abusive nature.

[JEFFREY] 55 year old man, white. Medium height, medium build. Brown hair, beard. Retired veteran, hunter. Murdered in his home.

[JASON] 30 year old man, white. Tall, slim/lanky build. Brown hair. Murdered while playing video games with friend’s son.

[JESSE] 10 year old boy, white. Medium build, medium build. Short brown hair. Murdered by man trying to kill his father. NOTE: the actor for this role will not be participating in or exposed to any scenes of a violent nature.

[ROBERT] 64 year old man, white. Tall, heavyset build. White hair. Father-in-law and grandfather of victims. Aided in the cover-up of the murder.

[ROBERT] 60 year old man, white. Medium height, medium build. Blonde hair. Friend and employer of the murderer.

[MARIA] 44 year old woman, white. “Weathered” look. Mother of murderer. Had a drug and alcohol problem, which contributed to losing custody of him when he was 12.

[DETECTIVE] Mid-40s / early-50s man, white. Tall. Short salt-and-pepper hair. Clean-cut. Police detective.

[CINDY] 18 year old woman, white. Medium height, medium build. Brown hair. Ex-fiancee of murderer.

[MICHAEL] 20 year old man, white. Tall, athletic build. Brown hair. Childhood friend of murderer.

-Brought to you by Robert Thorn.

Politics: What Would You Do If You Saw Two Men Kissing In A Restaurant?

06/17/13 - OH hatred. How hilarious you are!

-Brought to you by Robert Thorn.

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