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Music: Sharron Osbourne Is Cutting Off Her Tits!
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04/19/10 - Sharron Osbourne has told the world today that she is going to rip out her implants and give them back to Ozzy so he can use them as paper weights? I'm not really sure what possessed her to do this, but believe it or not, I'm actually in support of it. I prefer my women "O'Naturale". Granted, Sharron might end up looking a little saggy after the operation, but fuck it, she's old and married anyway. What does she care? I wouldn't want to carry around two silicone weights on my chest all day either. 

Also, I was at a strip club a little while back and the lap dance was going great until I started touching her implants. It felt like someone had stuffed a bunch of fake plastic shit up inside of her. Oh wait, I guess that's exactly what they did do... Anyway, it sort of killed the mood for me. Lets just say, there's nothing like the real thing. Speaking of which, go check out perfect10.com I might like this guy even more than Hugh Hefner based solely on the fact that he'll only use girls with natural breasts as models. Believe me ladies, a good hand full is more than enough.


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Gadgets: 4th Gen iPhone Found In Bar
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04/19/10 - Some dude who works for Apple left the new iPhone prototype they gave him in a bar he was drinking at in San Francisco. Normally, I’d make fun of him, but I think that Apple might have him killed and I think it’s mean to make fun of dead people.


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Music: Willie Nelson High On Larry King
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04/19/10 - I guess I see how this could be considered news, but honestly, when is Willie Nelson not high? It would have been way more of a story if he had come on Larry King and admitted he was sober.


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TV: Matthew Fox Banged A 14 Year Old!
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04/17/10 - Matthew Fox banged a 14 year old! Ok, he was 12 when he did it, but still.


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Film: Nicolas Cage Is Going To Die
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04/17/10 - I guess Nicolas Cage has given up on life. Looks life he's planning on dying soon and has purchased a tomb for himself in New Orleans. I can see where he's coming from though. I currently owe the IRS $7,000,000 and that's only half of what he owes. I'm not going to kill myself until 2012 though. I wanna do it when all the asteroids start smashing into the earth. Sort of like Woody Harrelson did in Yellowstone.


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Music Video: This Song Is Stuck In My Head
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Future Islands - Tin Man from Thrill Jockey Records on Vimeo.


04/17/10 - This song is stuck in my head right now. Also, I think the lead singer might be Oscar the Grouch. Check it out.


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Gadgets: Mission To Mars?
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04/17/10 - Today CNET NEWS said, “President Barack Obama flew to the Kennedy Space Center Thursday to sell his new space policy, a radical change of course for NASA that would cancel the Constellation moon program and shift manned launches to private industry while NASA studies options for future deep space exploration.”

That’s cool and all, but I really only want NASA working on three things: time travel, eternal life, or the ability to eat anything you want and never get fat. Oh yeah, also sex robots. Those would be awesome.

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