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Gossip: Joe Francis Is No Hugh Hefner
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joe francis


04/17/10 - Joe Francis might be dead by the time you read this. That's because he owe's Vegas casino mogul, Steve Wynn, $2,000,000 in gambling debt.

Look, I love Joe Francis for inventing Girls Gone Wild. I actually bought one of those when I was 16. It helped me get through some very tough times during high school. Anyway, I just can't seem to figure out why he's such a dumb ass. I mean, shouldn't he just be doing tons of drugs and banging hot chicks? Why is he punching girls in bars and gambling away millions of dollars? I mean, Hugh Hefner got it right. What's Francis' deal?


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Film: Steven Seagal Has Sex?
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04/17/10 - I guess Steven Seagal had a sex slave, or so his ex-assistant is claiming. I don't really care about the whole legal part of it, I'm just impressed that she was able to have sex with Steven Seagal and live to tell about it. I mean, can't you picture it? Him jumping around the room, karate chopping the shit out of her. Putting her in head locks. Dragon kicking her face in. She must be one tough sex slave. Also, look at his lip. Is that herpes? No, it cant be. Steven Seagal's immune system would drop kick herpes ass. What was I thinking?


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Music Review: MGMT's Flash Delirium
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04/16/10 - Ok, I know I've been putting this off, but it's because I didn't really want to talk about it. Listen, I will forever love and respect MGMT for songs like Kids, Time to Pretend and Electric Feel, but I just sampled their new album, Flash Delirium, on iTunes and I was so disappointed that I decided not to buy any of it. I had really been hoping that they released a crappy single to trick us and then the rest of the album would be full of electronic gold, but sadly, I was wrong.

Now in all fairness, sometimes it takes me a good three or four listens of a particular song before I really start to like it, but this stuff was so bland that I got bored just listening to 30 second samples of each track. Normally, I'd question myself and try find some deeper meaning in this "new direction" they've headed in, but even they don't like their new album. Let's keep our fingers crossed that their label lets them have one more try. Maybe the third times a charm.

In the meantime, I'll try to find someone to give me the album for free and I'll give it a thorough listen. I'll let you know if I hear something that changes my mind. As a side note, I prefer hand jobs to blow jobs. Weird, right?

mgmt poll

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TV: Kiefer Sutherland Is The Man
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kiefer sutherland


04/16/10 - I'm still on the fence about Kiefer Sutherland, but the fact that he takes his bottoms off in public places makes me like him. Apparently, he got really drunk and got kicked out of a London bar in a headlock and without a shirt. I know that seems like crazy behavior, but the same thing happened to me last weekend, and all I was doing was stealing alcohol from behind the bar and pissing all over everything, so I can relate. Therefore, now that I stop to think about it, I have decided that Kiefer Sutherland shall now be added to the list of people I think are "The Man."

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Photo: This Chick Is Single!
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Elin Nordegren


04/15/10 - Elin Nordegren has has finally realized that she is smoking hot and rich as shit and doesn't need to stay married to that geeky golfer dude anymore. That's right guys. She's on the market. Have at it.

Pussy Woods...oops, sorry I meant "Tiger Woods" (I always get my cat names mixed up) has been professing his love...oops, sorry again, I meant "trying to keep his money," but Elin is not having it. Rumors are floating around that she has been sited with a super sexy and awesome celebrity blogger guy on various occasions. Supposedly, he's really charming and totally hot. I mean, it could all be rumors, but there are a few celebrity blogger guys like that out there. I bet she could be really happy with a celebrity blogger guy. Just saying.

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TV: Even Hugh Thinks Tiger And Jesse Are Dick Bags
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mhugh hefner


04/15/10 - Even Hugh Hefner (my hero) thinks that Tiger Woods and Jesse James are complete dick bags for cheating. I have to say I completely agree with him. Hugh has always said that if you're going to bang more than one chick at a time, just make sure they both know about it and are cool with it. It's that simple. I mean, is that really so hard to do? Well ok, I guess most guys can barely get one chick to have sex with them, let alone two, but for people like Hugh and I, It's a way of life. People should really try to follow our example. 

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Viral Video: Don't You Just Wanna Suck His Dick?
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EMBED-Worst Beatboxer Ever - Watch more free videos


04/15/10 - I don't normally post viral videos like this, but my friend Zac Rowe sent this to me and told me to post it or else he'd beat me up. I don't like getting shamed publicly, so I've decided to post it. It's actually pretty funny, but you don't have to watch it the whole way through. Once you've seen the first 60 seconds, you've seen all this guy has to offer. (I'm gonna feel really bad if I find out later that he's mentally retarded.)

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