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Gadgets: No Tethering For iPad

 

iPad Tether

 

03/25/10 - So, it's official. The iPad will not support tethering. It's not too much of a shock though, considering that AT&T hasn't allowed thethering since the iPhone came out. If you don't know, tethering is when you connect your iPhone to a laptop and use it's wireless network to connect to the Internet. More or less, if you have a cell phone signal, you could connect to the Internet. Great idea right? Sure, it makes complete and total sense. They've been doing it in Europe for years now. Why can't we do it here you might ask? Oh, that's easy. We can't do it here because the people at AT&T sent a memo from the death star saying "It would slow down AT&T's network."

This seemed unclear, so we paid an above average high school student to translate this vague message. We believe this is what AT&T meant to say: "We like charging people for laptop connect cards and if everyone could use their iPhones as a wireless card, we'd loose billions of dollars!" Wow! What were any of us thinking?!? We are all so selfish. How could we ever have thought that was a good idea? We can't screw AT&T over like that. They'd never screw us over. Right? I mean, who cares anyway? It's not like it really be that cool to be able to connect to the Internet from pretty much anywhere. I mean, that's why we have public libraries and pay as you go hot spots in Starbucks. America needs to stop trying to steal from big corporations. They're here to help us. I mean, imagine where this country would be if CEO's got 200 billion in bonuses last year instead of 400 billion? If CEO's and stockholders start making less money, Americans will loose their incentive to climb the corporate ladder. High school kids will stop trying to get into college. Our economy would collapse. Holy Jesus pie, this could get out of hand. Someone call Glenn Beck and have him run a story about this. If we can get people scared enough, maybe we can get them to donate a percentage of their paychecks directly to AT&T. I mean, maybe that's a little much, but we've got to keep America safe from the communists, socialists, fascists, nazi's, dictators, aliens and liberals. Something has to be done.

 

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Gadgets: F You AT&T!

 

 

03/29/10 - Ok, so I know I'm way behind on posts, but it's not my fault. I've been traveling the world on my yacht banging hot chicks for the past few days. I didn't have much time to write about silly things like Apple computers. That is until I found out about this! Supposedly, Apple has started working on their next iPhone and they have finally grown the balls to tell AT&T to F the F off! It's about F-ing time if you ask me. AT&T sucks my balls. Honestly, they do. Every Wednesday and Friday we get together and they suck my balls. It's a very...well...never mind. That has nothing to do with this post. 

So, why is this awesome? Ok, that is a dumb question. If you have AT&T you know this is awesome because you don't have to use them anymore. If you don't have AT&T, you know this is awesome because you can now use an iPhone on whatever carrier you want. This is almost as exciting as when Harrison Ford announced on The Ellen De Generes Show that he was going to make another Indiana Jones. Let's just hope this plan ends up being a good one. (Yes, I watch The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Fuck you for laughing. I saw you watching Tyra Banks the other day you hypocrite.)

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Gadgets: Time Travel! Maybe...

 

collider

 

03/31/10 - I suppose this is one of the most important things to happen in my lifetime, so I better write about it. I know it’s not as cool as “walking on the moon,” but it’s still pretty damn awesome. Check it out:

The New York Times said today, “Champagne bottles were popped Tuesday in Geneva where the largest science machine ever built finally began to smash subatomic particles together. After 16 years—and an accident that crippled the machine a year and a half ago—the Large Hadron Collider successfully smashed two beams of protons at the astounding energy of 3.5 trillion electron volts apiece. This act produced temperatures not seen since the Big Bang occurred 13.7 billions years ago.”

Why is this important you might ask? Well, if you’re reading this 40 years from now, you probably know why it was important, but in case you’re a dumb ass (or the experiments failed), here’s why it could very easily be the coolest thing ever (list taken from theweek.com):

It could...

 

1. Kill us all...
The "early collisions" in the now-operational LHC might seem to disprove "doom-monger" theories that the machine would create an Earth-devouring black hole, says The Daily Telegraph. But pessimists point out: It's "still only running at half power." Relax, says Professor Stephen Hawking, quoted by the BBC: "Collisions at these and greater energies occur millions of times a day in the Earth's atmosphere, and nothing terrible happens."

2. Reveal new dimensions...
String theory — the mathematical idea that the world is made up of "tiny vibrating strings rather than point-like particles" — posits the existence of ten dimensions, according to Plus Magazine. Six are "curled up so tightly that we cannot perceive them." But in a high-energy environment, physicists may be able to detect particles "jumping in and out" of them.

3. Uncover the origins of the universe...
In creating "ultra-high energy collisions," says DK Matai in the Huffington Post, "scientists are mimicking the conditions just after the Big Bang" — trillionths of a second after, to be precise. Researchers hope the behavior of particles in this state will shed light on the moment of creation itself.

4. Explain why matter has mass...
This is where the "Higgs Boson" comes in, explains the Christian Science Monitor. Scientists are not yet sure what caused subatomic particles (which include quarks, leptons and bosons) to gain mass in the instants after the Big Bang. A scientist named Peter Higgs theorised that an elusive, invisible boson "imparts mass" to them. If the LHC can find evidence of this particle, it will validate Higgs' theories on why matter has mass.

5. Shed light on dark matter and dark energy...
Dark matter is "the heavy stuff" that scientists believe makes up around 22 percent of the universe, says Jonathan Fahey at Forbes. It is invisible — neither generating nor reflecting radiation — but the collisions at the LHC are expected to make it detectable. Scientists also want to discover the origins of dark energy, a hypothetical form of energy that makes up 74% of the universe and is somehow "pushing it apart." Finding dark energy is considered a longshot: 12 to 1, according to the Irish bookmaker Paddy Power.

6. Allow us to time travel...
If string theory (see above) can be proved, then theoretically humans may be able to travel between these "hidden dimensions" of space and time, says the CS Monitor. Sounds unlikely, but some physicists have hypothesized that a "malign influence from the future" had a hand in delaying the LHC, says Dennis Overbye in the N.Y. Times, travelling back in time because the experiments are "so abhorrent to nature."

 

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Gadgets: Smoke Your Vitamins!

 

electronic cigarette

 

04/02/10 - I love everything about cigarettes - except that they smell like shit, are really expensive, make your teeth yellow, hurt your throat/lungs/heart, make your skin age faster, annoy people around you, make you look trashy, cause cancer/emphysema/asthma/birth defects, start house fires, are addictive and litter our streets. But other than all that crap, I think they are awesome.

Therefore, I wanted to talk about this crazy new gadget called the electronic cigarette. If you want to see how it works, click here. It's not really a new thing. I guess they have already been around for a few years. However, it's not the quitting smoking aspect that excites me. I think I may have developed an awesome spin off idea!

I know you can't copyright an idea, but I am pretty sure I came up with this a few years before the electronic cigarette even existed, so I wanted to give myself the credit in case they finally come up with something like it down the road (It still really bugs me that I can't prove that I invented the Internet. Damn you Al Gore!).

What they are currently doing is adding the drug nicotine into water and then when a person "smokes" the electronic cigarette, instead of breathing in smoke, they are breathing in a safe and "healthy nicotine water vapor," of sorts. If you're addicted to cigarettes, it's a pretty sweet alternative. 

So here's my spin-off idea: I think they should also start taking things like B vitamins or Ginsing (in its purest form) and mix it into water so people can "smoke their vitamins" everyday! Think about it. You could wake up, eat your eggs and toast, read the paper and then have a healthy water vapor cigarette full of vitamins. How awesome would that be? Now I know not all vitamins can be absorbed through the lungs, but if nicotine can, I don't see why other types of drugs couldn't. It seems like it's at least worth looking into, right?

Now I'm sure there's some reason why this could never work, otherwise someone probably would have made it already, but I'm just saying, it would be pretty damn cool. I'd smoke three packs a day if I knew it was making me healthier. Who knows, maybe it would make me look cool too and I could finally get a real girlfriend and have real people friends. It's not that I'm sick of my Internet friends, but I don't always have access to wifi and I get lonely in my moms basement.

 

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Gadgets: National Broadband Fee?
National Broadband Fee


10/17/10 - Hey, guess what? There's going to be another new fee on your cell phone bill! Yay!!!! Well, maybe. That is if the FCC gets their way. They have just delivered a plan to Congress expressing how they need a crap ton of money to make the Internet better and they think it should be paid for with a new tax. I can just picture it now...

"Hey, Bob."
"Yeah, what's up Steve?"
"We need ah.. like... um, billions of dollars for our plan to work."
"Oh yeah, don't worry about that Bob. We're gonna get a bunch of money from the government."
"Oh cool. So I can go back to my Call of Duty game now?"
"Yeah, but turn the volume down, the boss is sleeping in his office."
"No problem, I'll use my headset."
"Thanks Steve."

All joking aside. It is about time this country had a complete overhaul of it's Internet. It just sucks we have to pay for it. I guess there's no such thing as a free lunch though.

 

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Gadgets: "Google TV"
Google TV


03/17/10 - Google, Sony and Intel are said to be developing 'Google TV.' I'd say it's about damn time. I think that Internet and TV should have merged years ago. I hate the damn "menu" that pops up now when you press guide. It's useless. Time Warner or Verizon should just buy out Hulu and combine everything into one big happy family. Wait, fuck that. I like that Hulu is free. I'm a cheap bastard and I don't like paying starving artists for their art. Yeah, forget all that. Screw TV. Hulu is where it's at.

 

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