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Gossip: Maine Worst State To Do Business In
bad business maine

12/13/12 - Maine has been ranked worst state to do business in. I think we need to get into the software business. Mainers should start writing software. There's a ton of money in iPhone apps.

-Brought to you by Robert Thorn.

Gossip: John McAfee Allegedly Says Bath Salts Are The Best Drug Ever?
john mcafee

12/06/12 - Interesting life path:

1.) Invent anti-virus software
2.) Become multi-millionaire
3.) Get 20 year old girlfriend
4.) Start doing bath salts
5.) Kill your neighbor
6.) Flee to Guatemala 
7.) ?

Read more here.

-Brought to you by Robert Thorn.

Gossip: Maine Doctor Caught Prescribing Oxy's For Cash And Coke
john perry

12/05/12 - On Tuesday, Dr. John B. Perry pleaded guilty to writing prescriptions for oxy's in exchange for cash and coke. Perry is 51 years old. He says he will be seeking the help of a psychiatrist.

I personally think all drugs should be legal, but what do I know?

-Brought to you by Robert Thorn.

Gossip: There's A Swingers Summer Camp In The Catskills
hot girls

10/04/12 - I would go to these damn things, but you always need to bring a partner. Any takers?

-Brought to you by Robert Thorn.

Gossip: Sally Struthers Arrested For Drunk Driving In Ogunquit, Maine
sally struthers arrested maine

09/14/12 - Oh Sally, didn't you hear? Maine loves giving DUI's to celebrities. I thought Ty Pennington warned you?

-Brought to you by Robert Thorn.

Gossip: High Speed Chase In Bangor Maine
high speed chase in bangor maine

07/25/12 - So some dude broke into my friends car and stole her purse yesterday. She had no idea that this had happened until the police called her at work to let her know they got her purse back. How'd the police get her purse back? In a high speed chase that ended in a crash! Yep, small town Bangor had a high speed chase. Where is the TV show COPS when you need them? I bet $20 he stole her purse to go buy bath salts and lost control of the car after he got high. Bangor needs to get rid of all of its methadone clinics, move the Homeless Shelter and Shaw House out of the downtown area and enforce loitering and noise level ordinances. We need to run the zombies out of town. This is getting out of control.

-Brought to you by Robert Thorn.

Gossip: Ron Howard Was In Bangor, Maine This Weekend.
ron howard in bangor maine

07/22/12 - Ron Howard was in Bangor, Maine this past weekend. He ate at Dysarts, shopped at the Rock & Art Shop and attended the West Market Festival. This is news because Ron Howard is a demi-god and should be worshipped by all mankind.

-Brought to you by Robert Thorn.

Gossip: Matt Lauer Was In Bar Harbor, Maine Last Week?
matt lauer in bar harbor maine

07/19/12 - Matt Lauer was in Bar Harbor, Maine this past week and no one told me?!?! That bastard owes me $20 and won't return my calls. I'll get you someday Matt. I'll get you...

-Brought to you by Robert Thorn.

Gossip: Bill Murray Wants To Come To Your House Party
bill murray party crashing tour

07/11/12 - Bill Murray has just announced that he is doing a "Party Crashing Tour" this August. Would you let him stay at your place? I would. I'd even let him have sex with my girlfriend if he wanted to. Shit, I'd even let him have sex with me. Wait...did I just type that? Screw it, I'm leaving it in. 

-Brought to you by Robert Thorn.

Gossip: How Come No One Told Me There Was A Zumba Prostitution House In Kennebunk, Maine?
zumba sex party in maine

07/11/12 - I totally would have gone here, but now it's shut down. Why do I always find out about sex parties and zumba prostitution rings a day too late? FML. 

P.S. - The women in the pic above have nothing to do with the prostitution ring in Maine. They're just hot and doing zumba, so I thought it was a good match. ( :

-Brought to you by Robert Thorn.

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