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Life: Mike Tyson Is Rich...Not!
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mike_tyson


05/08/10 - Following the blue print of every other famous boxer, Mike Tyson has squandered away his riches on booze, ho's and ice cream snickers bars.

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Life: Steven Hawking Hates Aliens
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hot alien


04/26/10 - Steven Hawking has just told the public that he thinks it could be risky for us to contact any sort of alien life and compared it to Columbus (the aliens) coming to America (us). I sort of agree with him, but what if we miss out on meeting some super hot alien chicks because we were afraid they might bite our heads off. It seems worth the risk to me.


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Life: Where'd All The Bums Go?
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no more homeless in times square

Photo: Michael Appleton, nytimes.com


04/04/10 - Looks like the recession is over! Let's all get drunk and have sex with each other! Yay!

Apparently all the bums living in Times Square have decided to move back in with their parents (or they were taken to a secret processing plant where they murdered and then turned into a green cracker and sold to the rest of the world as food - I mean, it's a possibility.)

Check out what Chris Rovzar said in the Daily Intel:

In 2005 there were 55 homeless people living regularly in Times Square. Since the nineties, the number had been dwindling, and it continues to do so (though there has lately been a 34 percent boost in homelessness elsewhere in the city). Now there is only one. From the Times:

His name is Heavy, and he has lived on the streets of Times Square for decades. Day after day, he has politely declined offers of housing, explaining that he is a protector of the neighborhood and cannot possibly leave, the workers who visit him every day said ... Little is known about Heavy, even his full name. Heavy is a nickname, part of his last name, a fact he surrendered after more than a year of daily visits from workers. He declined to be interviewed.

Heavy hangs out at 48th and Seventh, and codges snacks and change from bodega owners and neighbors who affectionately call him a "sweetheart." "He's kind of iconic,” said Rosanne Haggerty, the president of the group Common Ground, which tries to help the homeless in the area. "He would leave for periods and then return, and some days we would actually succeed in getting him inside. But he has this fascination with the life in Times Square." We have to say, we wish he'd talked to Times reporter Julie Bosman. His answer to our regular "21 Questions" query about the new and old Times Squares probably would have rendered all other answers moot.

 

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Life: New Planet?
New Planet


03/18/10 - Extrasolar Planet Hunters (Yes, that's their real job title), are super excited as of late because they have just discovered a new planet that they can study within the "Habitable Zone." I'm not sure why they are so excited though. Habitable Zone? What the hell does that mean? We can live there some day? We can't even get the water cooler working on the space station. How the hell are we going to inhabit some gaseous planet thousands of light years away? Then again, for all I know we've had a damn base on the dark side of the moon since the 60's. Obama doesn't tell me shit anymore. Ever since he got elected he stopped returning my calls. I guess that's what happens when you get all famous and shit.

 

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Life: Go With Your Gut


go with your gut


03/29/13 - Going with my gut lately. Feels good.

-Brought to you by Robert Thorn.


 
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